cleanse

Started by cleaning the apartment. One of those deep cleans that involves moving the table out of the kitchen, washing the walls, and using chlorine-free bleach in the bathtub. The stuff that's barely noticeable but seems to wash out a film.

Fall cleaning feels so different from its spring counterpart. No opening of the windows and letting the wild world wind sweep out stagnation. It's more lighting the boiler for the first time and prepping for more potential time inside. A Bob Dylan day not The Flaming Lips. Nice parallel to the internal world.

Skipped coffee too. Made a full pot of potent green tea and enjoyed thinking about all its armies of antioxidants rounding up the radicals and sending them out to sea. I notice that I've been worried more about health lately, hoping that if I take care of myself it'll reflect onto those close to me. Chiropractic, physical therapy, yoga; but what I know to be true for others, I have to hold close for this body too. That means taking care of the mind as well- breathing, calming, taking a little time with the crayons. Actions that lead to relaxation but can be so difficult. I always want to put it off until tomorrow. No more waiting.

I've sat for 5 minutes trying to say more, but that's it. Writing again is quite difficult. There's no internal daily dialog to lead the way, just short clips that belong on the fast facebook update. As I head to the store to buy healthy fuel for the bodies that reside here, I will take a moment to describe an apple in detail to myself, to listen for the hum of lights and the soft turning of grocery cart wheels; if I'm lucky, I might even hear my own breath...