Just had one of the scariest moments of my life on an airplane. Should’ve known better. All signs pointed to “No”. The plane was late because of bad weather in New Orleans and when we got aboard, the front stewardess took a very serious tone with describing the safety features, telling us twice to buckle our seatbelts tightly. I loosened mine after take-off and fell over on my left side to sleep. The staff was taking a long time starting drink orders and the seatbelt sign was still on when I awoke even though every thing seemed smooth and easy. The flight attendant was moving down the rows, taking orders and got mine for coffee and ginger ale.
I haven’t been feeling well. No sleep last night and a mild cold, I keep telling myself I am under the weather, which is the best way to ensure that you, indeed, are. Nothing solidifies sickness better than some self-righteous pity. When I sat up, my nose was stuffy, my head hurt and I felt nauseous, so when I saw a woman exit the bathroom in the back, I slid down the aisles, entered the closet-space and sat down. Blew my nose and couldn’t help but stare at the illuminated sign, telling the bathroom occupant to return to her seat.
About 30 seconds later, the turbulence began. That whole room moved every which way and erratically. I knew I was safer back in the body of the plane, strapped in, but I couldn’t predict the movements well enough to stand steadily and I didn’t want to hit my head on the ceiling. Right to left, then the floor and my seat would drop out from underneath me, slide to right and come crashing back up again. I thought about the poor stewardess with my hot coffee and cringed at my choice. Did she get the chance to sit down? I grabbed a hold of the “oh shit” handle and braced my other arm against the sink, tensing my whole body and leaning into the rocking and dropping as best I could. Scenes from movie airplane crashes went through my head and I tried to figure out if the bathroom was a safer place to be, like in a tornado. I mean, you have four walls holding you in place. Are the walls soft? Would they explode inwards on impact? Are they made of sharp metal? I knew we were just hitting air pockets and riding them like bumpy waves (probably…right?) but kept thinking about CastAway, the dead pilot, Tom Hank’s relationship with Wilson and how he didn’t get to have his Kelly. And about new adventures.
After about 3 minutes, it let up well enough for me to stand, my arms bracing me against two walls. When I poked my head out of the door, the stewardess was not sitting, but was spread eagle against the exit door, her eyes popped open. There was coffee spilled on the counter. One look at her panicked face and I was truly humbled. I said, “Thaaat was a really stupid thing for me to do.” She replied, tensely, “Sweetie, you better take a seat right now, even if it’s just in the back right there.” I tumbled up three rows to my spot and buckled in. She hasn’t really looked at me since, even when she brought me my somewhat cold coffee.
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I had one other scary experience on a plane, more based around conversation than activity:
My friend Priyanka and I were flying back from San Francisco and having an in-depth look at death, owning its inevitable presence in our lives and our willingness to embrace its course. What other choice is there, really? When it comes, we agreed, the best thing to do is smile, let go of life and bravely step into the unknown realm, full of anticipation and gratitude.
Then the buckle-the-seatbelt sign came on and the plane dropped out from underneath us a few inches. We giggled nervously. It continued to move like that for at least 10 minutes and we tilted out of the sky to land. We grabbed each other’s hands and braced for impact. Would the pilot really try to set us down like this? Wasn’t this timing just a little too strange? Were we being tested? The landing was smooth and as we coasted to the gate, we tried to have a good laugh at the Universe for its funny little joke, calling us on our bluff. Yes, we were ready to embrace death… eventually. But it sure can be a scary beast when it’s looking at you so closely, giving you a little eskimo nose.
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I will tell you this- my head hurts less and the nausea is gone. Seems like other things will be more important today.
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