cleanse

Isn't that a lovely word? Cleanse. Cleansing. Even gentler than Clean. It brings about images of sweet running water and maybe a milk bath.

And it is something I am planning to do for my body and mind starting next week. But I don't expect it to be particularly gentle.

I expect headaches and stomach reactions, some strange smells, a breakout or two, cravings and moodiness.

Whoohoo! Who's with me?

It'll be two weeks long, as dictated by the herbal cleansing kit I'm following. I'll take those pills each evening. They contain a variety of herbs that aid in the detoxification of vital organs: lungs, kidneys, liver, colon etc. I won't be fasting the whole time. I'm finally self-honest enough to know I'm not ready for that. But it will include two 36 hour juice fasts, one each week to 1) see what it's like, 2) get a big nutrient rush and, 3) aide the body in its own clearing and healing.

A vegan, whole foods diet will be in place though, with a strong emphasis on leafy greens. It's not way off base from my normal one. I don't eat a lot of cheese at home or cook many eggs and only use milk as half-in-half in my coffee.

...Coffee. That's where the headaches will come in. I think my little coffee addiction is sweet, honestly. I've never really had a vice (except pot for a few months), so it's neat to have some deep, dark calling with a scruffy edge. Something I can share with other people and really appreciate the quality of. I love coffee. Everything about it. How it's made, the different varieties, how it tastes, coffee mugs. But it was less than cute on my trip when I almost missed a bus because of a splitting headache and a desperate need for the drug. And less than wonderful as I drank Nescafe the whole time because most people elsewhere don't brew fresh. And truly, less than great to have an addiction of any kind. There's no room for coffee in a cleanse, so it'll have to go. I'm trying to work up to it. Had half-caf this morning. Maybe decaf for a few days, then tea the rest of the time until the cleanse starts. *pouts*

And no alcohol, of course.

Then light to moderate exercise every day and hopefully a nice hike or two up in the mountains. Might even go so far as to try and drink mostly store bought spring water. We'll see.

So that's the body. For the mind, I'll be meditating every day. At least 30 minutes, maybe up to an hour. I am starting today with 15 just to remember what it's like. And an honest effort to keep thoughts positive in the other moments.

What I am hoping to cleanse:
1) My body of the foods I ate in Central America, namely lots of street food quesadillas.
2) The laziness I have felt towards exercise, although that's already lifting.
3) The feeling of anticipation and anxiety wrapped up in my mom's surgery (taking place this Friday). Moving instead into a zone of support for healing and recuperation. I will be in Alpine with my whole family at the tail-end of the cleanse, so it feels like good timing.
4) Beginning of last year's graduate school experience, when I started this blog, when everything was stolen, when stress levels were whack. Reminding myself that this is a different time that will unfold differently and that I don't have to create drama where drama doesn't exist, just because it was like that before.
5) Lack of concentration in school; hopefully replaced with a renewal of vigor and curiosity and joy in the process.

The fun part is that I'm not doing this all alone. Someone else is willing to do his own cleanse. He can direct it however he chooses, but we're using the same kit and are both interested in the meditation, maybe even together some of the time. It'll be very cool to have a support in this and someone to share little successes with. 'Cause I'm sure you'll be sick of reading about it by the the time I'm done!