off Facebook

I got off Facebook last week. Gave my password to a good friend and asked her to change it. Strange how something I wouldn’t touch 4 years ago suddenly filled this huge part of my life... and fed an addiction for passive social entertainment. It’s really the perfect venue for the introverted extrovert/ socially awkward like myself, complete with the option for lots of observation opportunities and time to think about what you’re saying. One of these elements, the status update, is what I am missing the most.

Before, when I started this blog, I thought about what I’d say in my next entry pretty much all day. I’d narrate my own life to myself. Before you judge, understand that this sort of third party narration is a filler for other thoughts. Our minds are like hyper monkeys, jumping all over the place, all day long. A lot of times, they jump to the negative reaches of consciousness- imagining fights, reliving past hurts, worrying. I found that quietly narrating the present to myself not only controlled those other thoughts, it helped me appreciate the here and now much more.

As I wrote less often in the blog and spent more time on Facebook, those narrations took the form of status updates. The ideal update for me is short, descriptive, with just a touch of mystery. Say the moment, but not everything about it. I thought it left the canvas open enough so people could hear themselves as well, and helped them respond to my post with something similar in their own life. I love this kind of interaction more than any other.

So in the last days, since I’ve been off, my mind has continued these sentence narrations and is driving me crazy. As the blog has to become my new observer voice, I felt perhaps I could write them here and ease the pressure of extroversion. None of them are particularly profound and maybe only two are worth posting, but I have to start this blog up again somewhere.

- thank Gods, good radio. Finally.

- nearly passed out in her car. Heat is fun.

- believes she is channeling her nomadic ancestors

- sticky, nasty sweaty, happy.

- loves Austin

- loves free yoga

- is afraid of finding a roommate

- loves a 90 degree cool front

- is thinning her blood

- is thickening her body and likes it

- can't think of a better feeling than being home and still full of potential

Etc.

I will resume updating my status in a few months, I am sure. Facebook has become my main medium of communication with several people in my life and I may need to contact them in November for a conference. Until then, I am hoping that this internal voice makes the slow transition from choppy sentences to longer observations, helping me to once again notice and appreciate the small details of daily life.