remover of obstacles

I went to a peace meditation today.

It was early and all that got me out of bed was a promise I made to a friend to take her to her bike. The chilly air of fall in my room, combined with the warm fuzzy body of my cat helped me reset my alarm twice before pulling myself out from the covers.

But it was absolutely worth every ounce of effort.

Every Sunday morning this lovely Irish man conducts peace meditation at a yoga studio on the East Side. I don't know where or how he was trained, but his Sanskrit is perfect and his aura is radiating. He phrases things sweetly and you get the sense that he has true, egoless compassion for everyone in the room with him. I've only been once before and decided it was a good day to return, for no other reason than novelty and curiosity.

Most other meditations I've participated in are silent, a calming of the mind. This version is Bhakti yoga and is lead through chanting and some pranayama (controlled breathing exercises).

Today we worked with Ganesh, the remover of obstacles. He said if we weren't comfortable thinking of Ganesh as an element of the divine, we could think of it as a sort of energy; my mind was balancing somewhere between the image of a one-tusked elephant and a ball of warm, brown light. After a concentration exercise and very controlled breathing, we set into the chant associated with Ganesh (I dare not try to spell it here). We began quietly, grew in volume and intensity, then decrescendo-ed down to a squeak, then a whisper, then took it inside, repeating the lines over and over and over again while attempted to focus between our eyebrows. Throughout the whole practice, we were giving light attention to the obstacle we wished to unblock, particularly an obstacle on our spiritual path. My mind, although repeating the mantra, also ran all over my head, pulling out song lyrics, imaginary conversations, hopes, pieces of my to-do list, people's faces, fears, rationalizations- you name it. And I just kept trying to sit correctly, breathe intentionally and hear myself in Sanskrit. It was challenging but something cleared. At the end, he invited us to turn our palms upwards and send the healing energy we built up in our hearts out to someone who needs it. There is one magnificent woman in my life who needs it more than anyone I've known. Her body yes, but mostly I prayed for her heart and her freedom to be happy. I gave it everything I had and prayed for just a tiny ripple in the Universe around her. Who knows if this stuff works, but it does nothing but good to try.

Leaving the room, I felt like I had taken some powerful drug; couldn't even access the language portion of my mind very well. I got a paper cup of tea and saw that the meditation leader also offered spiritual healing sessions, by donation. We set up one two Tuesdays from now and I will spend 1/2 focusing on me, and 1/2 giving whatever I can to this magnificent woman. My overall goal is, I guess, to keep removing obstacles and increasing a sense of light- lightness in my life (as in not heavy), but also glowing and energy and compassion and generosity. Why not see how far this can go?