bathers

Gave the animals a bath today. Well, Chloe-Zen-Kitty and Hobodog, anyway. Tummy won't even ride in the car without attempting to kill her captures and I wasn't ready for that closeness with death.

Filled the bathtub with barely warm water, prepared a rinsing dish and changed into my bathing suit for complete submersion. I learned long ago that the whole lean-in technique is completely ineffective. Slippery, frightened animals possess super abilities to launch themselves over the side of the tub, if given the slightest inch. Best to be on their level and in better control.

Chloe first. At the sight of water, our two-way trust comes to a complete halt. She thinks I'm trying to drown her and I've experienced her determination to remove my internal organs with sharp back claws. I wrap her hind legs in a towel and we ease in together. She's extremely angry and growling, her little head pressed up against my chin, all 22 pounds of her on edge. I speak to her softly and her quick breathing and sighs sound just like a little girl's. Before I learned a strong grip, she used to turn around and put a paw on each shoulder in a hug, looking into my eyes and begging me not to kill her. I usually tear up at this stage, empathetic to her fear and also because it's so funny. Today I just hum quietly to both of us. Spending about 10 seconds just sitting there wet, I then wash her as best I can in 30 and we get out. I set her down outside and she immediately goes to the dirtiest part of the backyard and flops down on her belly, looking at me defiantly. She accepts the kitty-snack peace offering but I won't be forgiven until tomorrow.

Hobo's been curious about the whole affair and I grab him next, talking in the excited tone we use before a walk. He's not the least bit convinced. Slip off the collar, grab a towel and set him under me in the tub as fast as possible. Luckily, he knows now that despite his best efforts and deepest desires, weighing 7 pounds greatly limits his free will. I'm able to let go and wash with both hands, getting it over quick. He shivers even though the water is warm. I set him in the backyard and he goes to ask Chloe about her experience. She swats him viciously and I move him to the front with a lamb bone.

The tub is a furry mess and so am I, hair stuck to my toes and fingers, stomach and ankles. I'm meeting a friend for sunset beer in an hour. I guess it's time for my own cleansing.

"Oh my snuggers, you're the ones. You make bath time lots of fun..."