a look back for comprehending the now

We are in spirals. I believe that. We live in cycles and even if we move forward, it's like a spiral- returning to the same spot over and over again and able to look at it from a different angle. Sometimes we can leave a spiral for good, but I find the repetition of patterns the undeniable... pattern.

I went back to read some of my blogs from this time last year, trying to understand why I feel like I do now. It's not quite time to be overloaded with school but stress has my shoulders nearly shoved into my ears. Sleep is in fits and I nearly kicked over my lamp last night (it's near my head- I think I was pretending to be a ninja). Added social and different emotional stress are certainly lending and I want to cry more. I am learning that different things are expected of second year students... many last minute things (remind me to post my scientific poster thingy). I feel an intense need to be angry or violent and I think it's time to start hitting the bag again (which is what I was doing thing time last year). I am trying to diversify my physical activity- Tai Chi and belly dancing this semester, but they don't get this pent up energy out. Running does a bit so more of that. And again, to be more introspective, but also to spend more time with a variety of people and friends. Laying in the webs of love in life does more to relax one's soul than most meditation attempts. And more writing, goshdangit.

New Years Resolutions are welcome at any renewal.