compassion practice

Customers can get quite nosy about a server's personal life details I revealed way more than I expected to in Marathon, my first fine dining position. For some reason, folks find your personal story to be a part of their souvenir collection. One question that comes up has to do with your background, followed quickly by inquires into your personal goals, because nobody dreams of just being a waitress... right? So when I revealed that I have a degree in anthropology, they would ask,

"And what are you going to do with that?"

"Well... you're looking at it."

I was only half joking. Waiting tables is one of the best exposures to daily anthropology on the planet. You are given windows into people's lives for short periods, seeing their personalities, listening to discourse, watching nervous habits and balancing interactions. It's one of my favorite ways I've applied the degree so far.

And now, I am seeing a new benefit: a venue in which to practice compassion.

As I have been doing this meditation, I have found myself more grounded on the floor, more able to listen attentively as people fret over what to order and what to eat, as well as details in their lives. They tell me about their daughters getting married and plans for building a church; they have fights, come in to spoil themselves to recover from a breakup, and get engaged or celebrate an anniversary; they introduce me to their children proudly and tell me about their parents accomplishments; they have business meeting and talk about things that infuriate me; they sit quietly in peace of a long relationship or awkwardness of a first date. They come from so many places in their lives and sit before me to enjoy a meal, and it's been, in the last week or so, this new place in which I get to actively practice compassion and appreciate them openly for it all. Every person is an opportunity to listen more carefully, ask more caring questions and just refill their water with a hope for their deepest happiness in mind. Who knew work could be so fulfilling?