I am love

I found a new meditation. The Gayatri has been wonderful and I will continue to do it, especially in the sun. I understand much better- after having practiced it yesterday in a warm, dry, sun drenched creek bed in the Greenbelt- why it is an honor to that sort of energy. But alone in my room, I wanted to try something new.

Steven, my meditation leader and sort of adopted guru (he doesn't know that though), introduced So Hum on Tuesday and I fell in love with it. It actually means, "I am love." So (I Am) on the inhale, and Hum (Love) on the exhale. I aimed to do it 108 times this morning, but think I might have passed the stop bead and did it 216; it was so engrossing. Either way is great. The first little bit, I just thought the words, filled up with as much air as possible, exhaled as much as possible and worked on imagining a little flame in my chest.

Then, after some time, I started to imagine people in my life. There have been so many precious folks going through tough things lately and I haven't been able to show up fully for all of them. Part of it is because life is busy right now, and especially this week when I've been focusing on the cleanse. And part of it is because I am in a generally selfish state in my life overall. It's been hard for me to have several hour+ conversations with people in a week and I've not been able to connect with everyone. So I started picturing all these beautiful folks in my life and with each round, sent them love, imagining their very heart and spirit and souls and energies they put into the world and feeling immense gratitude. Then it expanded to others with whom I either have a steady connection (like my parents), and those with whom I am estranged at this point in time. On some, I did several rounds- those in my family who were closest to my uncle Paul's death; my parents who embody love so perfectly, I am forever humbled by their compassion; some people with whom I've been spending a lot of mind and heart time with lately, even if I can't talk to them.

Came out of it with my chest feeling warm and many more people to whom I want send gratitude and love. I think this shall be my daily meditation for a while. It's the best I can do until it's possible to be the support, lend the ear, reach out and speak so we can heal, or just show up to lunch. I miss them all.

So Hum
So Hum
So Hum

I send you love.