depression modes

Is there little more beautiful than Sujan Stevens on a sunny, fall day? Except perhaps Van Morrison. Or KGSR on highway 360 with all the windows rolled down...

I feel a flood coming on- write.

Thinking about Z last night, I flashed back to that age- the first exposure I had to depression. So little perspective at 14. Woven through the next few weeks, I'd like to start looking back at the three (maybe?) main times in my life of depression. Not so much what sucked me in, but what got me out. And how I've built a tool kit out of them that helped a) ward off future depressions, and b) see greater happiness in the every day.

It is such a valuable time to gain perspective, these times of feeling at the bottom of a well.

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, 'Joy is greater than sorrow,' and others say, 'Nay, sorrow is the greater.'

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall."
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet