1) Human relationships exist on a spectrum... but not a line with {hatred} at one end and {true love} at the other. It's more like a circle or maybe something messier. I am invisioning a scatterplot on an x/y axis, perhaps....
2) Friendship is never a consolation prize in that. It is honing in on a better way to relate.
3) My life is like a see-saw. Yes, I value balance, but not enough to hang out in the middle, one foot on either side of the center, still. Too curious, running out on either side to see what's there, tipping the scales; forced then to zoom back over and pull it horizontal again.
I shared this last one with my counselor- someone I consider to be a type of guru in my life- meditation retreats of 10 days, regular practice, calming presence, working knowledge of "the terms". She never seems disappointed or judgmental of me- myself being someone who strives to be Buddhist by nature, not trade- therefore always searching for short cuts. A cheater, in other words. Her insights are always delightful.
She laughed at me, as she usually does (or herself, I can never tell by the way she nods), then said:
"You might find yourself hanging out there more and more, pausing for a cup of coffee, maybe even a meal. And who knows, down the road, an overnighter."
My first thought was, "How long is an overnighter, in spiritual evolutionary terms?"
I do still like the edges. I still have a lot of envelope pushin' to do, explorin' to accomplish, limits to test. By knowing the extremes, I feel I'll better understand the middle, where it is and what it means. And maybe why I'd want to stay there.
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