punctuated equilibrium

Completely unrelated:



I busted on the ride home from the coffee shop today. Was looking at the moon- it was SO beautiful- bright white and huge hanging between strips of pink and blue sunset.

Bobbing to my music and rode too close to a post- smashed my right pinky finger into the walk button and hurled to the left.
My first thought was, "No helmet! Land on your knee!" The next was, "The road is damn close!" I heard squealing brakes but managed to stay on the sidewalk.

Sustained a jammed finger and three bruises, the worst is on my left knee. Very similar to slipping in the mandi of Gunung Kawi Sabatu- had that bruise for a month. It looks like I have an extra knee cap.


*sniff* [steps off her pity platform]

Okay, what I meant to talk about was punctuated equilibrium. It's a term used in biological anthropology to describe a paradigm of human evolution- our ancestors (or really any species- this is Darwin induced) would go through short periods of rapid change and adaptation (perhaps due to climate swings), then even out for awhile on a slow coasting static plane.



In other words: "instead of a slow, continuous movement, evolution tends to be characterized by long periods of virtual standstill ("equilibrium"), "punctuated" by episodes of very fast development of new forms."

Could this perhaps the way we go about it personally as well? If so, I'm being punctuated right now. Or I'm punctuating. In that upswing, anyway. And, just like morphological evolution, not all these new forms will stick. It is quite possible that a lot of fossils we think are our ancestors are really other strains that died off before evolving any further. Neanderthal, for example. So these new feelings, thoughts, actions, strange urges etc, will probably die off as unviable in the long run, hopefully leaving something fitter.

When trying to learn better ways to say goodbye, I had to list things I wanted to hold onto and things I wanted to let go of. So, before I go about saying goodbye to this time in my life (don't really know when that'll happen), I'd like to think about what seems worth holding onto, and what might be better left aside. An orienting statement, perhaps.

Hold onto:
1) Writing. If it doesn't remain public, at least in a journal
2) Managing "morning person" mentality
3) Exercising regularly and with variety
4) Actively searching out live music (that's a given)
5) Eating well (that's a given too)
6) Taking real time to notice beauty every day; taking some effort with crayons (or whatever) to interact with it
7) Being braver, less aware of the boundaries of the box so that you aren't actively trying to think outside of it (traveling made that rather permanent, I think)

Leave Aside:
1) The strange selfishness that comes with growth. Less "I"
2) Tendancy to blurt out things probably best left unsaid
3) Internet. I'm admitting it's a part of my life right now and is somewhat useful, but I need less of it
4) Being overly worried about what I'm saying (reference #2 for why I like to keep the quality as intact as possible right now)
5) Not sleeping and all the spaciness/ lack of motivation that comes from it

Okay, that's good for now. The equilibrium will be exciting because it's different and in recognizing that, it's hard to pay attention to the now. Always wanting what I can't have.