One, I am trapped underwater in a pool and running out of air. I put my hands around my mouth and breathe into them, hoping I can then rebreathe that air, and stay under a little longer. But I find my hands just fill with water. Nothing left to do, I inhale and find the water breathable. This is one is reoccurring.
Two: I am on a raft, swimming out past the breakers. It gets caught in a rip-tide and is being pulled out to sea post-haste. My friends and family are standing on the shore screaming, but I just put my feet up, wave, and relax into being washed away to sea.
Then last night: The dream lived itself over and over again. I am somewhere with a tsunami. The first time around, I see a lot of people running to the shore, where the water was pulling away, but can't figure out why they are zooming towards disaster head-on... then realize I can swim INTO the tsunami and be less affected. So I dive right into the wall of water and swim out as far as I can. It just washes over me and continues rushing towards land. The second time around, I try to talk my family out of running but can't convince them, so I go by myself and am keenly aware of being alone. The third, I have my cat and we make it out to this island that was supposed to be Hawaii and I start my life all over again. Porter, my classmate, once shared this quote with me:
"There's a whole world off this island. All it takes
is one long swim. Tell my mother I love her."
I don't know if these words are in the subconscious somewhere or if there are other meanings.
Like I need to fuckin' tough it up and get into the fray and mess that is the world (thank you Mike, for your in-depth and encouraging responses) and quit pandering to fear and pussyfootin' around. Because once you're in it, it's a lot less scary. It just washes over you... then you can keep swimming on to bigger and better things.
1 comment:
Everybody speaks well of the dude who jumps on the grenade :-)
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